Saturday, February 27, 2010

Carmella Ohno

If I was an Olympic athlete, I'd be Apolo Ohno. Short track speed skating would be my thing. There is nothing more fun than zooming with a pack. And body-checking is half the fun. I think Apolo would agree, if he was allowed.

I like Apolo's style. He looks like he is having fun. But he loves to win - just like me.

At the dog park, I like to run with all sort of dogs. As long as I am first. I'll admit that I eat Greyhound dust in the straight-aways. But those guys can't turn.  So I zig and zag and WIN (they pretend they lose interest...ha).

Emma and Carmella Ohno at the dog park.
 Carmella wins the gold!

I also love Apolo's yawn. It is very canine. Yawning is a great way to dissipate tension. 

I hear this may be Apolo Ohno's last Olympics. That makes me a little sad. Maybe I will have to take over.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Smart Chicken

My Susan's niece says:  

"If those chickens were so smart, how'd they end up in a shrink-wrapped package?" 

(I like the little graduation cap. Who says a degree doesn't get you anywhere?)

Time for a New Slogan

I feel bad for Toyota and all their recalls for sudden and very unexpected acceleration.

I am curious how long it takes Toyota to roll out a new slogan -- as their current one doesn't really work anymore.

Some of their old slogans don't really work anymore either.

Get the Feeling. Toyota. (eeeeeeeee!!!!)
Drive Your Dreams. (More like nightmares.)
The car in front is a Toyota. (I wouldn't pass it, if I was you.)
I love what you do for me - Toyota! (And I never liked that tree much anyway.)
Your new experience of motoring. (Wow! That WAS different!)
The best built cars in the world. (You'd better hope so. That wall in front of you is made out of cement.)
Today Tomorrow Toyota (Is that a threat?)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Better Containers So You Can Behave Badly

I am not really a big fan of containers. Not as silly as silverware, soap or doors -- but generally unneeded from the canine point of view. And let's just admit it, people, containers are largely ineffective when confronted by razor sharp problem solving skills combined with jaws of steel... Did they really think I couldn't open that dog food canister?

But a few weeks ago, I couldn't help noticing a news thread of articles about people's search for better containers. People seem to be searching for a lot of things. But I couldn't help wonder about the folks in charge of thinking up these beauties. How does the dinner conversation go after a good day's work?  "What did you do today, honey?"

And really, who wouldn't want a better ketchup packet? Although, if you have never snatched up a fallen ketchup packet, pierced it quickly with your canines and felt the salty goodness squirt like a plump mole -- you just haven't lived. But I digress... 

What intrigues me is that the main plus of these better packets is that these little containers allow you to dip and drive. "The driver wanted something that could sit on the armrest." Wow. So much for ten and two o-clock hands on the ol' wheel!

This got me thinking about another container that has been improved so behavior can remain shoddy.

Apparently so many Brits bean each other on the head with their beer glasses they even have a name for it: glassing. These bio-resin coated glasses promise to downgrade the 87,000 annual glassing incidents to simple bludgeoning and no longer produce shards with which Brits can lacerate their mates' faces.

And for all those unlucky blokes who do get glassed and end up in the hospital, better personal packaging awaits as well.  Lucky Brits!

International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

The day we've all been waiting for is finally here!  I am sure you know, February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day! Not that one day really stands out. I appreciate dog biscuits EVERYDAY.

But if you want to celebrate, find a dog and give her a dog biscuit. Or two. Make that ten.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dog Park

Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen
Ballard Street

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Gleaners and Carmella

click on image to enlarge
Content and Criticism
The Death of Socrates was painted by Jacques Louis David in 1857. It features three peasant women and a little brown dog prominently in the foreground, stooping to glean the last scraps of a wheat harvest. Their gaze does not meet the viewer, and their faces are obscured. In the background, bountiful amounts of wheat are being stacked while a landlord overseer stands watch on the right.

The painting is famous for monumentalizing what were then the lowest ranks of rural society. When Millet first unveiled The Gleaners and Carmella at the Salon in 1857, it was received poorly by the French upper class. One critic commented that Millet’s “three gleaners and mutt have gigantic pretensions, they pose as the Three Fates of Poverty and Their Cur…their ugliness and their grossness unrelieved."

Fresh from the French Revolution of 1848, prosperous classes saw the painting as glorifying the lower-class worker. It was an unwelcome reminder that French society was built upon the labor of the working masses. The landowners linked this working class with the growing movement of Socialism and the dangerous voices of Karl Marx and Émile Zola -- as well as Zola’s rat terrier-beagle Dogma whose own zealous commentary is said to have later inspired George Orwell to write his cautionary tale Animal Farm.

Some critics have questioned Millet's choice of including the dog Carmella in his painting. But a lean, kicked-around cur seems an obvious companion for the destitute women. And, as Émile Zola said, 

“The fate of animals is of greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous; it is indissolubly connected with the fate of men.”

More Art Hound (by artist)
Jean-François Millet's The Gleaners

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen
Ballard Street

Monday, February 8, 2010

Palin's Dog Prepares a Speech

Freaky Flying Monkey Dogs

I don't know what to say about these poor little pups.  Except that they have been forced to be a very creepy blend of Oz flying monkeys and organ grinder mascots. As the missive containing this photo (and many other photos of grossly accessorized dogs) quite clearly stated, this is why dogs bite.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen
Ballard Street

Saturday, February 6, 2010

God Paws

I heard a sponsorship spot for Minnesota Public Radio that really intrigued me. The day's broadcast was supported by Luther Seminary:

"God Paws -- daily devotions delivered to your email."

I wasn't aware of any seminaries open-minded enough to consider that their god might have paws-- that a god could, in fact, even be canine.

She's got the whoooole world, in her paws!

Imagine my disappointment when it was explained to me it was actually God Pause-- not God Paws.


Zip It, Eeyore

I know taking pot shots at weathermen generally resides in the realm of lawyer jokes and poodle tutu remarks. I know that we feel the weight of These Uncertain Economic Times and the niggling (or raging, if you listen to folks at the dog park) disappointment that President Obama is not Spiderman, Jesus or, at the very least, Harry Potter. And I know it is February and we are all feeling a little glum that we are not digging in the dirt and laying in the sun.

But could we stop it with the Eeyore crap, Mr. Weatherman? Are you kidding me? SOME SUN WOULD BE NICE? WE WILL BE PINNED UNDER CLOUDS? You get pinned under your car or a fallen building. These clouds are soft and gray and downright benign. Some perspective, please.

We are currently enjoying  a stretch of balmy temperatures in the mid twenties. Practically spring for February-- and yes, this you are hearing from a gal from Kentucky. We have a light coating of fresh snow which (much to MY chagrin) has covered all the yellow stains.  I hear it isn't hard shoveling and it is certainly fun for bounding. Little flakes are floating down as the wind has gone to the East coast. The ice has abated. The sidewalks are reasonable. Even the weatherman says in smaller print to "enjoy the mild temperatures"- but quickly adds that we shouldn't cheer up too much because it will be "much cooler next week."

It is nice out today. Get outside and find out for yourself. Don't let Eeyore Schaffer make you frown into your dog bowl.

Friday, February 5, 2010



In case you missed my previous thoughts about Avatar

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ankle Biter

Q: Why did the Daschund bite Dick Cheney's ankle?

A: Because she couldn't reach any higher.


Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen
Ballard Street

Monday, February 1, 2010


Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen
Ballard Street