2020 and I'm Still Here!

It has been awhile since I posted. I've mostly been busy laying in the sun. I'm doing fine, if a bit grayer and creakier, as I approach my thirteenth birthday. I know The Pandemic is stressing everyone out but I rather like having Boy#2 home from college and all the extra walks. Hope you are all doing OK.

Lots of love,

Carmella

Bran Muffins

Last night, I overheard Susan ask Dave, "What are your feelings about Bran muffins?" What?! Why would anyone make muffins from my friend Bran?

This is Bran. 
He is a dog–not a baked good!
He looks a lot like me. 
(Isn't he handsome?)

Dave replied, he did not care for bran muffins because they are dry. Susan looked determined, muttering about health benefits and whole grains. Happy new year, right?

The next morning, Susan did indeed make bran muffins and no dogs were harmed. Turns out bran muffins aren't dry. Could be the yogurt...the molasses...OK, likely the butter. Still, if you are looking for a tasty bran muffin, the guys say, "These muffins are better than expected."

Susan says to tell you this recipe is very forgiving. You can mix and match the oil/fat (or even reduce), swap out the flour (white, whole wheat...), choose your favorite fruit (raisins, figs, dates...), mix and match yogurt (original recipe called for sour cream).

Bran Cranberry Muffins
but I would rename them Fumble Muffins, to remind people to 
keep a loose grip when the dog is below.

Bran Cranberry Muffins

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen who adapted it from Gourmet, October 1991. Makes 12 muffins

1/2 stick (1/4 cup) butter, softened
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar (or less)
1 large egg, beaten lightly
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt (2% Fage)
1/2 cup honey Greek yogurt (Greek Gods)
1/4 cup dark molasses
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup dried cranberries, or other diced dried fruit (raisins, figs...)

1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 cup bran
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

In a large bowl, cream the softened butter, oil and the brown sugar. Beat in egg, yogurt, molasses, vanilla, and then stir in dried fruit.

In a small bowl, mix flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and bran. Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture, and stir the batter until it is just combined. (The batter will be lumpy.) Spoon the batter into 12 muffin tins, lined with paper cups or well-greased. Bake muffins on center rack of a well-preheated oven at 400°F. oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until they are springy or toothpick comes out clean. Cool, then eat them over the dog and fumble.

Bran muffins

Manifest Destiny

Life is pretty good around here these days. My Susan is back on her feet after busting up her ankle in December. That means she's back to walking me. She is pretty pokey but I try to be patient.

Susan's leg is mending.. after six months.

Good thing Susan is back in the dog walk rotation because Boy#1 is gone on some canoe trip up north.

Sooo much gear to pack to survive in the tundra. But it all fit in the end.

Word is that where Boy#1 is headed, there are musk oxen and caribou and bugs the size of chihuahuas. Funny way to spend a summer, if you ask me.

My main hobby is nearly as challenging as surviving 40+ days in the wilderness: adding permissible furniture to my repertoire.

Deck chairs are for Carmella.

This deck chair has been permissible for awhile. But not sharing is the key.

Recently, Susan and Dave have expanded onto the front porch. It used to be filled with toys. Now it is a breezy, bug-free place to lounge. Looks comfy, right? But not for Carmella!

All the new porch furniture is NOT for Carmella. (Stupid cats.)

The BENCH on the porch seems to be OK. And I can guard the house from here.

The cats think THEY are guarding the house. Puleeze!

The cats weren't using their cat bed...

Same story. I am sticking with it.

If my peeps would buy me a bed like this one, I might be content.

OK, movie night is the best! Equal seating for all!

I guess I am a a pretty lucky dog!

Rumor has it, Dave and Susan have a new California King bed arriving in July. Plenty of room for ME. Right?

So Close...

 

I love what spring brings...but Dave needs to UNDERSTAND.

Seven Things You and Your Dog Don't Need

It isn't quite so cold this week but the snow is so deep in the back yard that I can barely keep my head above it. No zoomies for me. So more indoor time. Sigh.

Here some weird things I found online today.

If you smell like peanut butter
and I am in a GOOD mood.

Custom nose print pendant
priced by the size of your dog's nose.
This one is a Great Dane so costs $170.
This is just plain weird.

Dog lips dog toy should never be fetched.
Bury them in the in the woods.

Cat battle armor is only $500. Yikes!

I am not a fan of dressing up your dog.
But this dynamic duo looks pretty good.

Hey! This looks like me!

Dog scratching post?!!
There's even a video demonstrating how to claw.
(This looks like Stuart...thank goodness he has no claws.)

2013 AKC Most Popular Dog Breeds

And the winner is....No surprises here. It is exactly the same as last year. Yawn.

2013 Most Popular Dogs in the U.S.

1. Labrador Retriever
2. German Shepherd Dog
3. Golden Retriever
4. Beagle
5. Bulldog
6. Yorkshire Terrier
7. Boxer
8. Poodle
9. Rottweiler
10. Dachshund

All 177 AKC breeds by popularity 2013, 2012, 2008, 2003


But I might just watch the show to see a mutt kick butt in agility!

Jimmy, a rescue dog from Richardson, to compete in the famed Westminster dog show

Go Jimmy!  

Tibetan Mastiff Tidbits

I was thinking about that Tibetan mastiff... he/she reminded me of someone else.

Tibetan mastiff

Then it came to me...

Lara and Yuri in Doctor Zhivago (1965)

This got me wondering about Tibetan mastiffs. Do they all look morose and fashionably bedecked in a Russian fur hats? Not so much... But I learned some interesting things along the way. 

Tibetan mastiffs come in all sorts of colors and weigh 150-200 pounds.

Tibetan mastiffs are not actually mastiffs. But then Tibeten terriers aren't terriers and Tibetan spaniels aren't spaniels. Those darn Westerners just make stuff up on sight. 

Big Splash, a red Tibetan mastiff, is the world’s most expensive dog, sold as a pup for 1.5 million. Read more about that. 

Big Splash, the most expensive dog in the world.

But buyer beware when shopping for Tibetan mastiffs: Wikipedia explains, 

"There have been other similar reports of dogs sold for astronomical prices; however, most of these appear to be breeders' attempts to drive up the prices of their dogs. Photos of dogs shown on web sites are frequently Photoshopped to exaggerate color intensity, size, and "bone". Buyers have reported getting their dogs home only to find that bathing removes both color and "hair extensions" from the coat."

Can you imagine me in hair extensions? 

I feel like a million bucks.

The last tidbit that I know my friend DN3 will appreciate is that Harry Dresden's dog Mouse is a Tibetan mastiff. Funny though, I always pictured Mouse more like a Neapolitan mastiff.

Neapolitan mastiff

The final fact I learned about Tibetan mastiffs is that they "don't smell bad like other dogs." Huh. 

Shake Those Booties

Today's topic must be The Cold, as the State of Minnesota is pretty much closed today and tomorrow. And why not? Frozen flesh in minutes is pretty daunting. Though I imagine Minnesota school children are staying plenty warm dancing jigs.

I am not a cold weather dog. I'm just a southern-born, hound mix. When I boarded the Kentucky rescue van, back in the autumn of 2008, I had short, short fur.

My adoption photo.
Back then, I had very short fur and a gorgeous, muscular physique.
Feel free to comment that I still retain the latter.

Needless to say, when I got to Minnesota, I got right to shivering and growing some more fur. But even after six winters in Minnesota, I just don't have the undercoat of say...my neighbor Johann.

Johann has an impressive undercoat, which he needs help disposing of each spring.

There are certainly dogs better suited to arctic temperatures than me. Here are The 20 Best Cold-Weather Dog Breeds according to Outside.

My favorite is the Tibetan Mastiff.                 credit

Today is too cold for my guys for walkies so I am making due with backyard forays and pacing the house. That is not to say I want to wear my stupid dog coat, as I have made perfectly clear in my previous post: Dog Coats are from Hell.

But staying warm its not just about fur. If it was, we'd all have feet like an arctic fox.

Arctic fox foot

Carmella's foot

Looking at my lovely paw pads, you might think I need to wear booties to keep my feet warm. You would be WRONG.

You might be thinking, well, those tough sled dogs wear booties so Carmella must really need them. You would be WRONG. Those hardcore racing dogs wear booties to protect their paws from the abrasive snow but they do not add warmth. Dog feet stay warm the same way penguin wings and dolphin fins stay warm.

When humans get cold, their bodies shut off the extremities to protect vital organs. Since dogs (and penguins and dolphins) are more sensible than that, we have evolved a different system than humans. Scientists call it a "rete mirabile" or "wonderful network" of veins in dogs' feet and legs that work as a heat exchanger, warming cooled blood to maintain a constant temperature.

Using electron microscopes (and very cooperative dogs), Japanese scientists found:

"that the very close proximity of the arteries to the veins in the footpad meant that heat was conducted from one blood vessel to another. So when blood in the paw's veins cooled on contact with the air or ground, warm blood pumping from the heart - through the neighbouring artery - transferred its heat. The blood was therefore "warmed up" before it returned to the body - preventing the dog's body from cooling down, whilst also keeping the paws at a constant temperature." Pet dogs keep their feet from freezing by Ella Davies, Reporter, BBC Nature

So cancel that Amazon order, your dog does not need booties to get through the winter. Although a patch of sunshine would be nice.

YouTube compilation of dogs in booties

Breaking Badly

I'm back. Or shall I say, my typist is back and available to assist. My Susan has been "too busy" lately to help a little brown dog get her thoughts posted. New job...blah blah blah.

But now she is laid up with a busted ankle in the dead of winter. I am a huge fan of bones. So it breaks my heart that Susan mashed hers up so thoroughly. No zoomies for her. Heck, she can't even drive until spring.

Merry Christmas, Susan!

It wasn't my fault. Everyone hears she slipped on the ice and thinks I had something to do with it. I wasn't even there. Which is good because I don't think I would have been as grateful to the paramedics as they loaded her up and took her away. FOX News would have loved that headline: "A Little Brown Dog Takes Out Ambulance Team on Grand Avenue."

I just don't think Bones McCoy would approve of 21st century medicine.

Susan came home from the hospital all goofy, smelling funny, with a leg full of metal. Worst of all, she stopped walking me, feeding me, or even letting me out the back door. Good thing we have a pack!

No walkies for Carmella.

Our pack has grown a lot bigger these last weeks. A stream of friends and family come by with food, household assistance, social time, and back scratching...mine, that is. I admit I find the comings and going a bit stressful. But I am trying my best.

The extended pack brought Christmas to our house this year.
I approve. I just wish they weren't all such skilled feeders
these days. Kids are much better at sharing.

The cats are pleased. She thinks they are sweet. But I know better. Now they have round the clock access to her body heat. Sorry Susan, nothing more.

Even with her confinement, it has been hard to convince Susan it is time to get back to my blog. I have been giving her non-stop adorable eyes for over 20 days now.

Pleeease?

Finally, she has relented. So we're back.

I leave you with this link which made Susan laugh harder than I have heard in awhile. I have never seen The Graduate, but she says that one is the funniest. Man Passes Time At Work By Recreating Romantic Movie Scenes With His Boss’s Dog.

Door Manners for All

I am pretty good dog. For the record, good dogs are supposed to guard their territory and their pack. That was a big reason why canines and humans started hanging out together - an early warning system for humans (and free food for dogs).

So yeah, I bark at people at the door... or near the door...or across the street if they look creepy. And heaven help you if you want to come in the backyard.

There is no reason I can think of for non-pack members
to come into my backyard.
Except for neighbor Mike. He's OK.

Let me be clear, I am an excellent guard dog. I have a deep bark of authority. When I bark at visitors I am 100 percent effective. Folks who don't belong here ALWAYS leave. Sometimes it just takes awhile for them to get the hint.

Convincing a gal like me to NOT bark at visitors is pretty challenging. I find it baffling that my family doesn't seem to want my services. They are no good at guarding the house. Most of the time they don't even notice someone is at the door. So it mystifies me that they have been working at modifying my guard dog behavior since I got here.

At first, this is how it would go.

Stranger at the door: Knock knock

Carmella: BARK BARK BARK!
Agitated family member: NO BARKING! NO! NO!
Carmella: BARK BARK BARK! BARK! BARK!
Angry/exasperated family member: NO BARKING! STOP! BAD DOG! BARK BARK BARK BARK!

OMG! Obviously, my peeps were very upset about visitors too. Someone's at the door! BARK BARK! The whole pack goes BARK BARK BARK! 

Clearly I was right. Visitors are BAD NEWS and everybody should bark until they leave.

Please note: my pack would get so wound up about visitors, they'd get confused and end up yelling at ME. Every time someone came to to door, I ended up in the dog house. Very stressful. And proved me right! Best to keep pesky visitors at bay...

Clearly, we had to come up a with door warning system that would please the whole pack. Now, when we have visitors, this is our new routine:

Stranger at the door: Knock knock
Carmella: BARK BARK BARK!
Calm, relaxed, cheerful family member: Good girl! Someone is here. Thanks for telling me. Now, in your bed. Go lay down...
Dog goes to her bed (reluctantly) which is away from the door and WAITS (on alert in case she is needed).
Relaxed family member (with treat in hand): Stay!
Door opens, family member greets stranger and then either:

1. talks to stranger and makes them GO AWAY (then the adorable, waiting dog gets a treat) or 
2. invites visitor over the threshold - transforming them to welcome guest (sort of welcome). Dog gets a treat, dog is invited over for a brief sniff, dog gets another treat from visitor, then dog goes about her business until needed.

It is hard to wait and trust my family can protect the pack.

This might seem complicated. And indeed, it is hard to train all the family members to do all the steps well. It is hard for me to let go and trust my pack can defend our territory. It is hard for my family to remember that I am a good dog doing my job -- they should NOT yell and bark at me. For success:

1. They need to remember to be armed with treats (we keep them by the door) so I have a positive focus. 
2. They need make the visitor wait behind a closed door while I settle into my bed -- which is hard for them as they were taught not to make people wait. 
3. Then they need to keep enough of their attention on me to be sure I stay put until I am invited over. (I hate this part)
4. All the while, they need to coach the visitor to ignore me. Do not stare at me! I don't like stranger hands all over my adorable ears.  I just need to sniff the visitor and give the "all clear" to my pack. 
5. People need to get past their stereotypes about dogs: I don't want to make friends - live and let live is as good as it gets. Not all dogs are extroverts... Leave me be... unless you have peanut butter and will scratch my back (but that comes later...much later...)
6. Most importantly, everyone's behavior must exude positive calm. We LOVE visitors. Thanks for letting us know we have one, Carmella. What a good dog!

Whew!

Why so much effort? Because I don't rule the world and so visitors are apparently inevitable. As my pack practices this door ritual, things are more peaceful at our house. We now have a permanent sign on our front door that says:

Dog in Training
Please be patient.
Help me with my door manners.

I  must lie down and stay for the door to be opened.

• Do not greet me
• Just ignore me
• Do not bend over me(it scares me).

If I am good, I will get a treat!

Obviously, I did not write that silly sign. But did I mention I get treats?

Recycling for a Better Life

I was trying to help out around the house by putting some things in the recycling. But then I read the sorting guidelines. Rats!

Sorry, we do not accept household goods other than clothes and linens.
No appliances
No books, tapes or CDs
No hardware or tools
No games or toys
No kitchen goods
No chemicals or hazardous waste
No cosmetics, creams or nail polish
No computers
No cats

Find a Patch of Spring

More Firepits, Some Death Stars, Always Hot Dogs, and a Volcano

My blogger pal Ms. Sparrow commented on my last post about fire pits featuring burning animals:

"I would rather see a volcano one. That would be awesome! Seeing trees and animals threatened by a forest fire is not pleasant, but I could watch a really active volcano for hours!"

I think she is right. Even though I would never ever want to set paw anywhere near a real volcano, I agree that they are pretty amazing - at least when I've seen them on TV. I wondered if there were any volcano-design fire pits out there. Sadly, no.

This is the closest to a volcano fire pit that I found for Ms. Sparrow:

"Alpenglow" Mountain Sunset Fire Pit

I think the best fire pits feature designs of things meant to be burning hot. 

Like the sun:

"Solar Flare" Custom Fire Pit

Or dancing 'round the campfire at a full moon party:

Full Moon Party Fire Dome

 This is my Susan's favorite. 

She says she would buy this one for our backyard 

or the cabin we don't have (but it is $2000). 

I just hope the creepy people don't come with it...

The Great Bowl O' Fire

Here's a truly epic fire pit! 

 I would want a lever to pull that would make it shoot flames 10-20 feet.
It would keep the partying, peeing college students out of our yard.
And the cats.

Epic Dragon Fire Pit

This is a fire pit for my three Star Wars lovin' boys:

Death Star Fire Pit which is probably fake but funny

I would prefer this Death Star, for obvious reasons. 

Susan says, yeah, and the chocolate would be the death of me. 

Uh huh. I think people make stuff up...

Death Star Cookie Jar

 Dave would like this Death Star even better.

Death Star Ice Sphere

Wait...where was I? Oh yeah. Fire pits...

I don't really like fire. 

But I do like activities involving roasted sausages, marshmallows and the like. 

These dawgs are all for Carmella!   

credit

I leave you with these rather sad images:

Campfire Kids Indoor Camping Gear: 

"Pretend to roast your marshmallows and hot dogs!

Who wants to PRETEND?

Plastic food is pointless.

Use with Campfire Kids Campfire (sold separately)

"Fun for kids who aren't fans of the great outdoors. It brings that play inside!" 

That is so sad. 

Somehow, I just don't think Ms. Sparrow meant this:

Small Nature's Fire Interactive Volcano