Sunday, October 9, 2011

ThinkGeek Gems

Everyone around here loves reading catalogs of useless consumerism. Whether in flight contemplating a hot dog toaster, bathing in the syrup of adjectives in a Coldwater Creek catalog, or drooling over flavor descriptions of Meatwater (that would be me), my family enjoys snorting and barking at the worlds of useless products  - all the while beating back uncomfortable nigglings of awe and secret desires.

ThinkGeek is the perfect place to find useless products for every occasion. Their products are fun, their product descriptions hilarious and their tagline "Stuff for Smart Masses" is perfect. Smart masses. That's me... wait a minute!

On this lazy Sunday morning, Boy#1 found these gems of must-have items.

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

Some of the best features of this cozy bag:
   - Classic Star Wars sleeping bag simulates the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass
   - Built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow
   - Plush Lightsaber zipper pull
   - Printed intestines pattern on inside of bag
   - Great for playing pretend "Save Luke from the Wampa" games
   - For indoor use only. Not suitable for camping. 

Can't think what to get your best frenemy? How about an alien facehugger plush?

Thanks to the thoughtfulness of Susan's sister, we actually own ThinkGeek's Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter. It is very sharp and performs its mundane raison d’ĂȘtre just fine. Susan says it is wasted in the handsome storage box and plans to hang it from the pot rack.

Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter

There are some misfires. This product is not amusing to me at all.  

Cat Tank Commando Play House

But this last product could really help me document just what silly and pointless products our two cats really are...

Pet's Eye View Digital Camera
But I think that is already pretty obvious.


  1. Ahh, yes. That reminds me of the Hotdogger electrical appliance of the 70's. A flat, domed thing, it was lined with little pointed metal pegs on either side with which to plug in the polar ends of the wiener. When the device was turned on, the tubes of meat were electrocuted. Sort of. The cooking was uneven and the end result might be a frank that was cold on one end and cremated on the other. The metal pegs corroded quickly and were a bugger to clean. After the flurry of sales (it was the
    hot-seller Christmas gift one year, as I remember) they wound up at garage sales and second hand stores.

    Now, after all these years of desperate consumers yearning for a better Hotdogger, it seems this crying need has been answered. Thank you, Carmella, for letting us know!

  2. My Susan waxes eloquent about fondue pots of the '70's. Though I think she just wanted one, rather than owned one. Now that she is 45, there is no place in her life for pots of melted cheese and vats of chocolate. Well, other than her hips... But I think the single-minded hotdog toaster is pretty breathtakingly awesome. Though I have to say, hotdogs are also just fine right from the package.

  3. "bathing in the syrup of adjectives" -- best phrase I've read in weeks!

    The tauntaun sleeping bag description almost killed me, especially when I got to the part about the intestines.