Tuesday, September 20, 2011

To Catch a Mouse

We have a mouse in our house.

I hate to break it to Susan...but I doubt mice come as singles.

This mouse is massive and slow. The floor shakes when it ambles by. Susan thought it was one of the cats when it first crossed her bedroom floor.

Seriously though, we have two residing cats in our house. We have mice. Ah, such irony! Prrrrr....

The cats have been on patrol for weeks now.

Sophie and Stuart on mouse patrol
They seem to be practicing a catch and release program. Dave said Stuart is like a cat version of Chauncey Gardiner from Being There.

Chauncey Gardiner
Stuart Mouser
OK, I understand they have no claws and have lived most of their hours indoors. But surely they could stop spitting the darn thing out every time they catch it. All that gives us is a wet mouse.

I know, I know...I am a top predator myself. And thank you, yes, I am an expert at rodent patrol. But someone would have to unlatch my crate door at night if they want to see how it is supposed to be done. All I can really do is lay there and watch the debacle, night after night.

The family has given up on the Non-Dynamic Duo. They got a real tomcat - a TOMCAT MOUSE TRAP. It has already caught one mouse. (Don't worry, it is a live trap. Dave let the hapless mouse go near the neighbors' who feed the squirrels. He figured there would be plenty of food there while the mouse made its own transition to life in the real world.)

Notice the difference between the new tomcat and our non-cats.


Not that I would EVER want a vicious tomcat living with me. I prefer the Dopey Duo over anything with claws. Nice kitties.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dew NOT Claws

When my Susan was a kid, back before the days of ubiquitous Internet images, she came across a black and white photo of the Guinness record holder of longest fingernails. That cringe-worthy image snagged itself in her mind as the perfect example of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Yet the little picture of the man with meandering nails hanging to his feet also seemed exotic and mysterious. A peek inside a dimly lit sideshow tent.

Back then, there was a sense that the man with the long nails had been discovered. Now it is clear having the longest nails is a commercial pursuit of fame. Record holders are displayed in countless full color photos, covering every angle. Let's face it, the mystery is mostly gone. But I think we all still wonder when we see oddball people. We are perplexed by people who choose to hamper their lives for a questionable sliver of record holder. Life is hard enough with trimmed claws. What possesses people to choose a disability like this? How did they start down such a path?

The new female longest fingernail record holder is also a Vegas singer.
Mostly, my claws get worn down form everyday life. I walk about 3-5 miles a day on pavement and rip around the dog park whenever I can. So it is usually just those pesky dew claws that grow too long and get in the way. As much as I hate Susan snipping at my claws, it is always a relief to get them out of the way so I can get back to running, digging, scratching and other daily dog activities.

How do people of long fingernails take care of everyday life? How do they eat, dress, go potty or drive a car? How have these nails not broken? Human fingernails are pretty fragile compared to dog claws and mine chip away all the time. Maybe there is superglue involved. But that would hardly be fair.

It is rare for dogs to have rear dew claws. But I do.

I wonder if these people started growing their claws because, like me, they loathed getting them trimmed. It is all I can do to concentrate on my peanut butter bribe when I see the claw trimmer come out. It should be noted that I have more claws than the average pup - having rare rear dew claws - so there is even more claw trimming for me to hate.

The male longest fingernail record holder
and the former female longest fingernail record holder
(who eventually lost her nails in a car crash
after growing them for 30 years).

For Susan, questions are overshadowed by the gag factor. She says curling, yellowed fingernails are just plain nasty. I am not so judgemental...I am thinking these folks could deliver a heck of a back scratch.